The 'grey rock' method everyone is talking about.
Wondering what we're talking about? Then join us for this weeks edition of Outlouders Only.
Have you ever been stuck in a conversation with someone who you just know will use whatever you say against you?
They might twist your words or try to catch you out, using your conversation as a trigger to start an argument. Our natural instinct is to avoid people like this altogether, but sometimes that's easier said than done.
Also known as 'grey rocking', the method is a conversational tactic used when talking to people who have narcissistic or manipulative attributes.
The idea is to be as dull and aloof as a physical grey rock so that people get bored with your conversation and stop trying to get something out of you. The end goal of grey rocking is to make people who are looking to start a fight or use your words against you completely avoid trying to do so because they assume you have nothing to give them.
We talked about this concept this week on our show and got a great response from Outlouders sharing their favourite ‘grey rock’ phrases such as: “same old”, “living the dream” and “not much” you can hear it all Wednesday’s episode and read about it in Em V’s article here.
Mamamia Out Loud is free. And if you love the show, we would love you to support the work we do here. We make two extra segments each week for paid Mamamia subscribers so we would pash you (not really, but in our hearts) if you subscribed...
How many times have you been in love?
This week we opened the inbox for Holly and Mia to unpack and some of the questions got a little personal... Outlouders asked: How many times have you been in love? or Can you have more than one 'soul mate'? It was very clear that in this edition of Ask Us Anything, love is in the air and Mia and Holly were not afraid to share their stories.
Holly was also asked about her favourite gardening tool and it turned out to be an unexpected fashion item, a Le Sac gardening belt.
We’re all wondering how long it will be until it’s spotted as part of Mia’s outfit in our next office fit check.
What happens when you have a dilemma and you need some advice? You reach out to your friends and have a group therapy session.
In this weeks episode Holly, Mia and guest host Emily Vernem help give advice to an Outlouder, whose 23 year old daughter had a terrible experience on a night out for her birthday.
She doesn’t know how to support her daughter who is feeling despondent in the aftermath, so we put a call out to Outlouders last week and got an amazing response. We then sat down with Holly, Mia and Em to unpack it all and hopefully help a mum who’s just looking for some guidance about what to do?
Do you have a dilemma you’d like a little help tackling? If so, email us, head to our Facebook Group or send us a DM on our Instagram.
Mia’s Recommendation: MID Podcast and Newsletter
Mamamia’s newest podcast hosted by our very own Holly Wainwright to have the grown-up conversations women deserve. MID goes deep on self-care with zero shame and rich experiences you can cherry-pick for wisdom to share, changes to make and attitude we can borrow.
Mia says,
'“I’ve wanted to build some supporting stuff around this podcast so i have been populating the MID instagram account and the newsletter and it’s been a lot of fun. Sometimes we just like to be amongst our own kind, so i have been populating the account and writing the newsletter and i’m loving it.”
You can subscribe to the MID newsletter here.
Holly’s Recommendation: Colin From Accounts on BINGE
Ashley and Gordon are two single(ish), complex humans who are brought together by a car accident and an injured dog. Cast: Patrick Brammall, Harriet Dyer.
Holly Says:
Colin from accounts is an Australian comedy that became very popular overseas. I loved season one but there were things about it that kind of annoyed me, we’re half way through season two now and it is perfection. I can’t remember the last time i laughed out loud that much.
Watch Colin From Accounts on Binge
Em V’s Recommendation: Single Appropriation
Over the long weekend Em V went down a rabbit hole reading an advice column in The Times written by every broken hearted millennials favourite author, Dolly Alderton.
Em V explains:
There was one submission that said ‘Am i right to be annoyed with my coupled up friends?’ This person said they were single for quite some time and to make herself feel better about her situation she decided to do things that her friends in relationships couldn’t do.
Dolly Alderton responded to the original submission:
This is a clumsy way to put it, but I think what you’re feeling anger about is that people with relationship “privilege” are “appropriating” your culture as a single person.
The hosts continued to discuss this concept, do we have a right to be annoyed with our coupled up friends for having much needed alone time? Or are art galleries saved for people in relationships or single people only?
‘I’m trying to make a new friend but i keep calling her fat.’
This week Holly wrote this article about her relationship with her body. It was part of her manifesto for this weeks episode of MID with Helen Thorn.
Your relationship with your body might be the most complicated one you'll ever have. So says comedian and podcaster Helen Thorn. And she'd know.
This is a story not about losing weight, but about a 'midlife' woman discovering her strength in every sense. What happens to your life, your health, your friendships when you go from living on wine and take-out to running marathons and lifting very heavy things? Well, as it turns out: a lot.
Jennifer Garner is 30 (not really), flirty and thriving but is she also a criminal?
This week we welcome the other Jennifer to the Cancelled courtroom, for crimes like fatphobia, racism and the worst crime of all (in our eyes) the movie Suddenly 30.
So why is Suddenly 30 called 13 Going On 30 in every other country around the world? And, does every Gen Xers really know the dance moves to Thriller? You decide.
What would you do if your husband cheated? And what if you found out about it at the same time the whole world did.
That’s what happened to Nia. She found out her husband, Sam, had been unfaithful to her when all the data from the Ashley Madison website was leaked in one of the largest data breaches ever.
Sam & Nia participated in a documentary about Ashley Madison on Netflix - but in this episode of No Filter, they share parts of their story with Mia that they haven’t shared before.It’s a raw, honest conversation with a couple who have been through so much and a really intimate look at the complexities of infidelity and of forgiveness.
Outlouder Weekend Reads
Pour yourself a cup of tea or a glass of wine…
The one game-changing detail in Bridgerton’s viral sex scene.
We published a story about this husbands cheating scandal. The reaction speaks volumes.
17 women told us just how much they spend on injectables.
We grew up with Jay Laga'aia on TV. His daughter will be a Disney princess for a new generation.
'9 belted blazers to give your outfit instant style and shape.'
Until next week, Outlouders.