What every woman needs to hear from her ex
The reccos you can't afford to miss, finding glimmers to make life sparkly, Mia's unexpected update that had Holly howling (ONLY for newsletter subscribers) + exciting news coming your way in 2025 👀
Hiii Outlouders, Em Vernem here 🙋🏾♀️
When I was 23, I was obsessed with dating.
I was newly single, had just moved out of my parent's house and was in a brand new fun and exciting job.
The issue with dating when I was 22, was that it was in 2019 which as we all know was the year of... ghosting.
Okay, I'm exaggerating. Ghosting had definitely been around for a while but this was the first time where we coined a term for it. The act of completely disappearing out of someone's life that you were in a relationship with or dated sounded absurd to me.
I read so many personal stories from women who had been ghosted yet the concept of ghosting still seemed so far away... until it happened to me.
One of first guys I've ever formed a type of situationship with ghosted me. We had been dating for a few months and it had been great. Every woman knows the first situationship you ever get into always hurts the most.
It's the situationship after a breakup that makes you believe in love again, makes you see that this "dating thing" isn't so scary and makes you trust a person even though you told yourself that you would never trust anyone ever again.
This is exactly what I had with this guy.
I honestly believed that I'd one day share a child with this man who I'll call Adam (I've changed his name both for anonymity and also because I forgot what his actual name is).
My main form of communication with Adam was through texting. We would meet up once to twice a week but texted 24/7, leaving no more than a two-hour gap between replies (I know — super healthy habit).
Then one day, I stopped hearing from him altogether.
I woke up in the morning, checked my phone and I had no texts. I didn't think too much of it, he probably hadn't woken up yet.
Around lunch time — still nothing. This was the moment I felt that deep nauseating pain in the pit of my stomach. You know the one... where you know you're about to be heartbroken but you refuse to believe it.
I sent him a sort of 'just checking in' message and of course, I didn't get a response.
A few days passed and then a week passed and then it was a whole month of not hearing from Adam.
Although I didn't tell anyone about my ghosting, I still felt like I was the laughingstock.
Refusing to allow him to have the metaphorical last word, I decided to send him a performance review. I wanted to send him something that made me look hilarious, confident and powerful. It was all about understanding what had happened between us and why it had all gone wrong.
This is something Jessie spoke about on Friday’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud. An unexpected conversation with her ex produced some very revealing results. Holly and Mia were agog. Was Luca there? No. Why not? He was at home with gastro.
Yeah, poor Luca and all that but I doubt Jessie’s story would have been half as good if he had been there so sorry about his ‘issews’ but PRIORITIES. If you want to know what happened, you’ll have to listen to the ep (keep on scrollin’ for the link) because she explains it better than I ever could.
Anyway, back to me. I need to reclaim my main character energy here.
As I was saying…
Like most young women about to send a risky message that could make or break their relationships, I first typed up the text into my notes app (which is why I still have it).
It read…
🎧 Follow below to listen to the full Jessie-and-her-ex chat in this episode of Mamamia Out Loud.
Weekly Reccos 📺 📖 🎧
Enough of all this ex talk, let’s get into our favourite part of the week.
Mia wants you to listen to
Mamamia’s brand new podcast, Diary Of A Birth.
“Who doesn’t love a birth story? I love a birth story, even though I haven’t given birth for a very long time. We wanted to find a way for women to tell the stories of their births. We’ve got fascinating, very different types of births.”
Jessie wants you to watch
Bad Sisters Season 2 on Apple TV.
“I’ve been waiting for Bad Sisters Season 2 for a million years and it’s just dropped. It’s a black comedy in terms of script writing and plot. It is just so, so clever.”
Holly wants you to listen to
Avant Gardeners podcast.
“It’s hosted by two women from Tasmania, Emily and Madeleine. They live on land and they’re really into gardening, and they also drink cocktails. At the beginning of every show, they tell you what they’re drinking, and then they have a conversation about gardening and then they have a guest. It is just so fun.”
What do you think your fellow Outlouders would like listening to, reading, watching, doing or buying this week? Tell us YOUR reccos in the comments!
A pocketful of joy.
Anyone else feeling a bit well, bleugh lately? Yep, same. Life is just a bit too lifey at times and that, coupled with end of year chaos, can kinda drag us down.
Which is why Tuesday’s episode of the pod really hit home. It was all about Dopamine Diets — though this particular one didn’t necessarily involve food at all. Instead, it was all about finding life’s little glimmers. The things which spark joy, fill our cups, our hearts and our souls and make everything just that wee bit more sparkly.
💖 Click below to hear Jessie and the Mamamia crew explaining what triggers their glimmers.
It was all quite wholesome so on my walk to work the other morning, I decided to focus on the things I could see, smell and hear that would give me similar feels.
It turns out that jacaranda confetti, a particular tree (look, that’s as specific as I can be. I’m no Holly Wainwright) with a halo of leaves the colour of limes, the heady scent of jasmine from someone’s front yard and kookaburras sharing a noisy joke were all it took to start my day off right. Thought I was a city girl. Looks like all I needed was a dose of nature for my own pocketful of joy.
Who do you know who’d enjoy this conversation? Go on then! Spread the love ⬇️
🎧 Click here to listen to the full discussion about life’s glimmers on Tuesday’s episode.
More to read. 👩💻
Carry on the group chat with these great reads.
Why we should focus on glimmers and not triggers.
We’ve been getting ‘the ick’ forever but now it’s gone too far.
Mia Freedman: 7 things I stopped wearing in 2024.
“Let them be bored”. A mum of 3 shares her 5 golden rules of parenting.
Mia’s BTS nana beef continues.
You *may* remember that last week, Mia had got over her angst at being called ‘nana’ and moved on to a whole new angst. Yes, it’s exhausting but do try to keep up.
This time, it was about sharing the title with Luna’s other grandmother, Anne. You know Luna. She’s the little girl who’s the offspring of Jessie (daughter-in-law) and Luca (Mia’s son). Again, KEEP UP.
What to do, what to do? Well, what Anne decided to do was throw down. Oh yes, Anne Stephens was at her rogue finest. Here, exclusively for newsletter subscribers, is Mia’s reaction to what we’re calling the Great Nana Battle of 2024.
Saving the best to last. 🥳
Holly gagged Mia this week. Now there’s something I never thought I’d type. But she had good reason to do so. Something VERY exciting is coming in 2025 and fortunately for you, newsletter subscribers will get first dibs. Watch the video below to hear more and keep your eyes peeled for next Saturday’s newsy because more will be revealed then…